What Day Is It?

It must be Sunday, because New Year’s Day, like Christmas Day, always falls on a Sunday. That at least is what happens with the Hanke-Henry calendar, a proposed replacement for the Gregorian calendar (the one we know and love).

The Hanke-Henry has eight months of 30 days and another four of 31, for a total of 264 days in the year. “It stays exactly the same year after year” is the slogan. Sounds like the kiss of death to me.

The calendar then throws out a caveat: every few years we’ll get an extra week, just to stop winter becoming summer, I guess. So how would that work? An extra week’s holiday? An extra week’s work/pay? It would happen every five or six years: a leap-week year. Would it happen in winter or summer? Tacked on to the end of a month, so that you get married (or divorced or born, for that matter) on, say, December 38th?

Adopting this calendar in place of the Gregorian could save the world billions and billions in annual updates and reprintings because it never changes. Would we die of boredom in the meantime?

Under the Hanke-Henry, my birthday would always be on a Friday. I’m fine with that. But Halloween would fall on a Monday, unless parents united to push for Saturday the 28th, which seems wrong somehow. As for July 1, Canada Day would fall on a Sunday, making Monday an annual holiday. But July the 4th? That would fall on a Wednesday and I can’t see the Americans buying that. Wednesday doesn’t lend itself to a holiday. You can’t bleed it into a Saturday; it sits, stark,  isolated and unloved, in the middle of the week.

Maybe Wednesday could fall on Sundays instead. And while we’re at it, let’s get rid of this dotty 24-hour day. Time to go metric: 100 seconds/minute; 100 minutes/hour; 100 hours/day.

According to my calculations, that makes me 32. Now that I could get behind.

happy new year

(Happy Sunday, too).

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